| i do not understand females |
[26 Apr 2006|10:55pm] |
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Something Corporate - If You C Jordan |
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i don't understand how someone can be "so completely in love" with someone, yet two people whom they have not talked to since high school can come into their life and brainwash them into not liking that person they love so much, then hurt that person really bad, then ignore them and never talk to them again.
im just curious that's all.
but to be positive, last weekend was awesome. thanks!
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| Well Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? |
[16 Apr 2006|09:48pm] |
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Panic! At the Disco - Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off |
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dang i feel like i should write in this thing. so much is going on. soo here goes...
my dream is finally coming true. I AM GOING ON TOUR!! this july its gonna be the best thing ever. a world away and ports of aidia everyone watch out. i love playing shows. we have had shows every weekend for about 2 months now and it is the best thing ever. after playing just having people come up to you and be like you guys are awesome is the best feeling ever. and hanging out with the bands especially ports of aidia. i love those guys. seriously. even going to eat and having people come up to you and be like hey are you in a world away i love you guys. best feeling ever. and the cd is getting close to being done. 8 songs and it sounds amazing so far. i cant wait to show everyone. and shirts are coming in a few weeks. so everyone should buy some that would be sweet. basically the band is awesome and i am so glad everything has worked out and you guys are seriously my best friends and we are gonna make it i can feel it.
alright besides the band. school is almost out i am very excited. i didnt do so well this year but it has been rough. besides the band, my life has been pretty sucky lately. it hurts really bad to see someone leave your life completely when they have been in it almost 2 years. it hurts really bad that they wont admit they made a mistake and that they dont try to get you back. it hurts really really really bad to be lied to all the time. i am not as stupid as you think. i guess you can say what you want. but love is a feeling that doesnt dissapear when things get rough. if you love someone you dont want to be with anyone else. i wish you could feel that feeling when i saw what i did. it was the worst feeling i have ever felt. i seriously felt my heart stop. i guess i would feel better if you would just show that you cared and would not lie to me and would atleast try and act like you were sorry. i dont even know if i would even want you back but to hear you say you dont want me back is like stabbing me in the chest after what has happened. you say it was my fault. i just dont understand... how could it possibly be my fault. i am not a bad guy and i wont think i am anymore. i did everything that i could possibly do for you. i tried so hard my life is so stressful you dont even know about half the stuff. stuff i wished i could tell you but i felt you didnt care because you didnt seem to care about what i was feeling or what i wanted or what i liked anymore. i got so frustrated because i tried to please you i tried to make you happy but you never smiled. i would try and be goofy and make you laugh like i used to be able to but you have changed. i would drive home from practice so exhausted because i had spent all day at school, 8 hours of hell at work, 2 hours of trying to record a cd, and i would still come see you. and when i fell asleep because i was so physically exhausted i couldnt keep my eyes open you got mad at me. i felt like i could never please you. maybe you will find a guy who will but you have to compromise a little. i just dont understand how you can let 2 people who have not been there for you for all the past 2 years ruin what we had... i hope you are happy, i hope they make you happy, and i hope you find what you are looking for. i just hope that you dont end up like them. because you are way better then that. i hope one day that instead of thinking of me as being a horrible person, you think of me as who i am. and not about bad stuff but good stuff. we had fun together... everyone goes through bad times. i wished when you said you loved me you meant it. and you would want to make it through the rough times instead of giving up and hurting me like you did.
besides that, i want to go to florida. my sister is leaving tomorrow and im jealous. someone says they want to go to florida with me at the end of the month. i hope this someone is for real. ;-) because that would be so much fun. because i miss you and i would really like to spend the time with you. it would be awesome :)
how is everyone? IM SO EXCITED FOR SUMMER
( PICTURES FROM THE LAST FEW SHOWS )
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[21 Mar 2006|07:13pm] |
i dont think i will ever be able to trust a girl again.
after a year and a half this is what i get.
to see pictures of you cheating on me on MY camera.
no one has ever hurt me like this...
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[17 Mar 2006|12:03am] |
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my fish tank |
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im lonely and depressed :(
i need alcohol.
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[26 Feb 2006|04:51pm] |
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Bullet for My Valentine - Room 409 |
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i wish...
i wish i could say what i want...
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[02 Jan 2006|12:37pm] |
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Bleed the Dream - Say G'Night |
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well i havent wrote in here in awhile. i have been rather busy. i hope everyone had a good holiday season. i know i did. i got some pretty sweet gifts. like a remote car starter from tiffany :) i cant believe that its 2006. its crazy. kinda like this weather right now. its 42 degrees and its janurary wtf. i want some snow so i can go sledding and snowboarding. so how is everyone? what was the coolest thing you got for christmas?
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| grr |
[27 Nov 2005|05:08pm] |
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Valencia - Away We Go |
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i have never been so frustrated.
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[24 Nov 2005|01:23pm] |
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anxious |
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gobble gobble |
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happy thanksgiving all
eat lots of turkey
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[28 Sep 2005|10:33am] |
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room raiders |
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well i havent updated this in a long time. probably cause i have been very busy. going to school, still working all the time, and being in a band pretty much takes up all my time. speaking of being in a band, i am in another one. we are called a world away and i play bass. we have a show at clutch cargos october 23rd so everyone better come. im really excited. we have a few songs recorded and hopefully soon a few more and they should be on myspace or purevolume soon. this is my new baby...
other then being busy all the time everything has been going great. i am happy again. :)
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[03 Sep 2005|06:14pm] |
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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
Dear Mr. Bush:
Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.
Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?
Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!
I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?
And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!
On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.
There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.
No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!
You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.
Yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com
P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.
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now i dont always totally agree with michael moore. but this is horrible, what has happened. the government basically turned their backs on our own people. but we are so concerned with the iraqi's and their freedom. what about our own citizens drowning in their own homes? shoving them in a stadium and basically letting them die. this was a natural disaster beyond anyones control, but the government has basically put this on the back burner. and to let gas prices soar to record highs, just because the greedy oil companies cannot cut a little bit of their enourmous profits to help aid this disaster. in respect of this disaster, they could atleast cut 10% of their profits, to help this country to continue on as normal as possible. it makes me angry to watch such horrible leadership in govermental america and corporate america alike. its for these reasons i am such a strong democrat. its not all about big business and the rich. its about the people who make this country move. who build the cars we drive and the houses we live in. the ricidulously huge plane bush flys in. i just cant for the life of me figure out how something like this could happen in such a "great" country. the scenes on tv look like they came from that of a third world country, not the usa.
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[27 Aug 2005|10:01pm] |
so heres another post about my problems... i am not asking for pitty by no means. thats not what this is about. this is for me to post my feelings and it helps me so much to just write everything out. so please dont criticize me or think i am asking for attention because i really am not. and really it probably doesnt make sense to anyone cause i just wrote what came to my mind and i really dont even remember what all i wrote but here goes..
i think its best for me to move on. i cant stand this feeling anymore. it is seriously a struggle for me to get through the day. i am emotionally drained. it hurts me so bad that it has to be this way and i dont understand why. i ask myself that all the time. why is it like this. why can my friends get through the problems with their girlfriends but i cant? i pray to god everynight that he will just make her see how much she means to me. i have been a horrible person this whole summer and im sorry to everyone but so much is happening and losing the girl that i thought i would marry does not make it any easier. it was so beautiful and perfect what we had, but things can get tough sometimes. why cant you forgive me.. why cant i just forget everything and move on... why do i feel this way... what do i do? do i continue to feel this way just cause there is the tinyest bit of hope left in me or do i give up on what i love so much. what i need so much. shes the one thing that held me together and i am hopeless without her. i cant be me anymore. im so depressed. like, horribly depressed. i see couples together everywhere and it makes me want to cry everytime i see them. i am so jealous of them. i guess right now i just cant understand why i deserve this. just because you jumped to conclusions and never talked to me about it. i would never ever cheat on you. you know that. why cant we just talk through this and get through and go on with our lives together. i wont ever hold you back from anything i could never do that. i am not that kind of person. i never said you couldnt hang out with your friends. i told you to. maybe im being selfish now because i want to see you but i never ever get the chance. even when i ask first. and it hurts me so much when everything that is going on in your life and i want to be there for you so bad but you wont let me. maybe you are just scared but what have you got to lose? i can tell you right now what you can lose though. you can lose the boy who loves you more then anyone ever could. this is becoming directed towards her again but i feel like this is the only way i can talk to her... i think i should start to move on... its definatly not what i want to do. i cant even imagine being with another girl... but i think i have to cause things arent changing and we dont talk and honestly you do not try very hard at all. i am a mess and i need someone badly to put me back together and there is nothing that i want more in this world then for it to be you, but that little bit of hope i have left is dying. i dont want to even think about this right now i just want to get so messed up to where i cant think about this. that sounds so imature, but for once there is logic to it. i dont know what to do. honestly i really dont. but once i move on then its over with for good. that scares me so much. i cant wait much longer like how things are. i would wait for ever for you, but not how things are now. they would have to change. i could give you time if thats what you needed. but the way things are now, its just not fair to me. i want to be me again
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| A New Chapter... |
[23 Aug 2005|09:22pm] |
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its hard to get used to change. its even harder to let something go that you love so much. but things change. things happen whether you plan on it or not. a year of my life is a long time. alot happened in the last year and i am glad i had someone to spend it with. i dont know how i could have gotten through without her. she was my best friend and was always there for me. just the comfort of knowing that she would always be there was enough to make things better. i had something to look forward to everyday. but things change. i dont have that comfort anymore and im scared. im scared that i wont find it again. i need that feeling so bad right now. nothing is right in any part of my life right now. but when it rains it pours right? its funny how a couple little lies can change everything. i realize what you need and i will give it to you. no more 20 phone calls a day. im sorry for that, i just couldnt let go. i didnt want to accept the fact that you didnt need me or want me to be around anymore. but i think i can now. i can give you space. im scared to cause the feelings i have for you now i have to let go. i cant think about you all the time anymore or i cant think i wonder what she is doing right now or if she wants to hang out. i cant think of the past and all the things we were doing this time last year. i have to get rid of everything that reminds me of you. its the hardest thing i have ever had to do, but i would do anything for you even this. i think i have proven to you how i feel right now. there isnt anything more that i could possibly do. its out of my hands now. and time apart could bring us closer or it could make everything we had fade away. you could find someone new, or i could. but now it is more important to me that you are happy. and i can tell that is not with me. if you want someone else that is fine. just know that he cant ever love you like i do.
( ninedays - sometimes )
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[21 Aug 2005|04:41pm] |
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 mellow |
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The Hives - Here We Go Again |
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hmm ok an update...
well i start school again in a week. im kinda excited cause im sick of working all the time but then i kinda dont want to start school cause i hate school. and plus i wont be rolling in the monies no more :( i wish i would have saved more...
anyways my favorite season is coming up. i love the fall and all the fun things to do and the colors and stuff. i just hope i can have someone to do all that fun stuff with.
also i am thinking of making this friends only, so if you are reading this make a comment! even if you dont have a lj just make a comment if you read this. k thanks
that is all really. give me a ring if you want to hang out. usually im just sitting home bored when i get out of work. call me!
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[14 Aug 2005|11:15pm] |
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i wish i wasnt such a screw up....
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| this is the last time i fall in love.. for real |
[12 Aug 2005|07:37am] |
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i know i lied to you about who i hung out with and im sorry for that. but i feel like our whole relationship was a lie. oh well, there is nothing i can do anymore... this is how you want it and i apparently cant change your mind...
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buried_a_lie's journal
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